Power, responsibility, and pants

Being a parent is giving me a greater awareness of the wisdom of Spiderman’s Uncle Ben. In particular, I draw attention to the quote that is oft attributed to that character:

“with great power comes great responsibility”.

Our little boy David is now just about eight weeks old. At such a young age, he has little to no control over his circumstances or his welfare. He is reliant on his parents to care for him, to protect him, and to ensure he can grow to an age where he can start taking some responsibility for himself.

As a parent, I have a duty to provide this level of care. Sometimes, that requires difficult, but necessary decisions, that are reflective of the great responsibility that has been bestowed upon me.

Other times, however, it presents the opportunity to have just a little fun. To focus a bit more on the power, and a little less on the responsibility.

I find there to be something oddly fantastic about babies wearing pants that have a ridiculously high waistband. In combination with an overly large butt created by wearing a nappy underneath, a pair of pants pulled up high hints at some small semblance of a maturity and wisdom far beyond the actual age of the baby. In the case of a boy, such as David, it is almost like transporting him 80 years into the future, to the time when he himself is a senior citizen.

I’m sure we have all seen the nice old men who wear their sensible dress pants high. This old man would normally also have a button up long sleeved shirt and possible a fedora. The old man you are imagining is endearing, right? Go ahead and try to deny it.

This leads to the question, why not bring that same endearing quality to the present? Why does he need to wait 80 years to benefit from that kind of goodwill? Why not combine the endearing nature of that old man you have imagined, with the undeniable cuteness of a new baby?

Much to Hannah’s chagrin, sometimes I simply can’t help myself. The opportunity to wield my power over the boy becomes too much for me to resist.

At times like that, those pants simply must ride high.

High Pants!
High Pants!

Fatherhood as Stewardship

DSC_0562.jpg

Last Friday I had the opportunity to speak at a Father’s Day function1 of The WA Club, regarding what fatherhood means to me. My role was to represent the ‘new father’, speaking alongside two others: John Goodlad as the experienced father, and former Governor of Western Australia, Ken Michael, who represented the role of the grandfather.

Of course, I only had five weeks of parenting experience to draw upon in preparing and presenting my talk. Given my lack of real-world experience, I chose to start by reminding the other parents in the room of some of the joys that come with a new baby. Examples I provided included their delicious soft skin, the feel of their body relaxing as they drift off to sleep in your arms, and or course, the celebration of poos and wees!2

Beyond those recollections, I also chose to speak about my vision for what I would like my fathering style, and the underlying philosophy that guides that style, to be.

This philosophy revolves around seeing fatherhood as stewardship. Stewardship may be defined as ‘the responsible overseeing and protection of something considered worth caring for and preserving’.

It would be very easy, and almost desirable, to attempt to parent David in a way that would see him grow into a mini-me, mimicing my interests, passions and personality traits. Yet, taking a stewards’ view, it is more appropriate that I parent David in a way that allows him the freedom to make decisions that will allow him to become the person he wants to be.

Just as I have arrived where I am today as a result of the decisions and choices I made along the way, in parenting David I should provide him the freedom and opportunity to make choices that will allow him to follow his calling, and become the person he wants to be – not necessarily the person I want him to be.

Of course, this is not me abrograting my responsibilities as a parent. My very important job is to teach, provide and protect, in a way that will equip David with the ability to make sensible and appropriate decisions, understanding that each choice has ramifications and consequences.

Ultimately, I do not believe that I can adopt a command and control methodology to parenting. I need to be a Dad who is nurturing, guiding, and supporting. A true steward.


  1. I genuinely enjoying the opportunity to speak at this event. I challenged myself to speak without notes, relying on my memory of the thoughts and points I had considered earlier. This gave me the opportunity to try to better engage with the audience, and ‘free-style’ based on what came into my head at the time. I’m glad I set myself that challenge, because only by stretching myself will I continue to grow and improve my public speaking skills. ↩

  2. The one thing I forgot to mention, but that I love, is their crazy body proportions. In particular, I love that when David stretches his arms above his head, his hands just reach the top of his cranium. The ridiculousness of the way this looks is incredibly cute. I love it. ↩